......and how do you do that again please?? LOL For all the single woman out there who manage motherhood, work, personal hobbies, and still keep order without falling apart and having moments of "just Forget it" !! I thank you for sharing your stories all over the NET cause there are days that I just want to sit down under a waterfall on a hot island hmmm maybe under the Maya waterfall in Bali, Thailand and do absolutely NOTHING!!
After that moment passes, I look at my to do list and realize I forgot 5 more things to add to it! It's crazy when you have to make an appt with your phone to alarm you of the things u need to add to it to remind you again to get it done!! LOL
OMG! life is so funny sometimes and yet so stressful. AND I am always reminded when I need to slow down...when I see more of my honey brown pigment lost to Vitiligo and more white patches prevailing wherever they want to on my body.
There are days I want to totally de-pigment expeditiously with the help of modern meds like Michael Jackson did and go all white, BUT then I think of organically de-pigmenting like a slow death. (the "death" part is the loss of my brown and I want to wake up every morning to see parts of the original me still there! -lol Let it happen naturally and don't sweat the small stuff!! LOL yeah right.
I will continue to manage my daily life with a smile and passion to finish my book and to complete the 2 pilot projects that are my "babies" and my heart!! lol
the weather in Chicago is breaking and I can't wait to kiss summer and take a nap on the sand by the waterfront! (of course I have to wear sunblock 50 so I will not burn to a crisp)! :0
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To my sister:
I addressed this comment to my sister. No, we are not blood relatives, however, I have grown to realize that our block, "Oglesby Avenue", was the village most folks talk about when referencing raising children. We were family on that block. Our relationships run deep and still exist. The respect we have for each other and families are grounded in the belief that we got each other's back, no matter what.
I have never really talked to you about my inner thoughts relating to Vitiligo. Most likely it's because it is a subject matter that I am not very well versed. It may also be because I wasn't sure how to approach the subject. To be honest, I never thought about it much. Yes, I have met and interacted with many who had vitiligo. I treated them just as I would anyone else. However, I never took the time to understand how the disease effects people mentally and emotionally as well as the obvious physical impacts.
In an effort to not totally embarrass myself with my lack of knowledge of the disease, let me translate my thoughts by speaking on the process of Changing over time.
As I read your blog entries, I thought to myself, wow this is great! I learned so much about Vitiligo by reading about your physical and emotional challenges as you learned to embrace the disease. I pray you continue to make consistent blog entries. It is important to those who love you and for those who are new to the disease. I noticed that you referred to the process of Change several times. You talked about losing your Honey brown color and changing to white. I also noticed what wasn't written. I imagine there was a mental and spiritual maturity element to this evolution as you learned to embrace and not fear the disease. Do I, Can I, will I ever know how you really feel? Can I truly understand the mental, emotional, and physical stress you face as you watch your body change one spot at a time? Probably not, but I could try.
I went back over your blog entries, and every time you referenced changing color, I replaced the brown with thin and replaced the White with Fat. Yes my sister, I used to be thin until I hit the age of 38 - 40. I am not really Fat (denial), but I could stand to lose a few pounds. Not really the same because I could work out or go on a diet. So I went back and thought, I used to be young and now I am old. Still not the same because we all grow older it's expected. Some struggle with depression, addiction, and other ailments. This may speak to some of the issues (mental and emotional) but not all as those impacted by Vitiligo most likely go thru depression and could also struggle with addiction. Those who don't have Vitiligo that have addictive tendencies, could actually hide and blend in with society because they don't stand out physically. those with Vitiligo stand out easily because of the physical aspect of the disease. They can't hide.
It doesn't look like I can actually "fit your shoes" based on my personal experiences. I also thought about how other diseases have so much more understanding, visibility, and support groups. this became obvious as I researched the topic more.
You seem to be so strong, so beautiful. I am not sure I would be as strong as you if I had Vitiligo. I don't say that out of putty, I just know how I struggle with my personal challenges. I must admit that I am not as strong as I would like to be at all times. But this is not about me so I will not digress.
Please know that I admire you my sister. You are a role model to many and a hero to most. To me you are family. I love you my sister. Keep on teaching others about Vitiligo. We have so much more to learn.
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